Stop Looking for Perfect Relationships

Stop Looking for Perfect Relationships

Wish you had a “perfect” relationship with your spouse?

With your Mother-in-law?

With your teenage child?

With your reporting manager?

“I wish I had. If my spouse would do (enter your expectation here) then it would be just perfect!”

If you’re thinking that, stop.

Just stop.

You’ll end up wasting your entire life if you expect others to be perfect.

If you continue doing that, you’ll go mad and feel more and more insecure with every failed expectation that doesn’t live up to your fantasy of perfection.

We seek others to act in a way that feels perfect for us, but if you reflect on it, you realize that there are no perfect relationships. It is just a flavor of imperfect relationship that feels perfect at that moment.

Reason?

You’re not dead.

You are a living being and here’s a fun fact: Only dead things are perfect. Living beings are always imperfect.

Rather than expecting someone else to act in a particular way, what if we grow completely into ourselves and realize our own imperfections.

We accept ourselves the way we are and the way we are not.

We recognize that we are also a form of imperfection. From other’s point of view.

We acknowledge that and see how we can inspect and adapt to create a situation that we enjoy; despite our imperfections.

We accept others the way they are and the way they are not.

We agree to disagree.

We don’t let other’s imperfections affect our feelings.

Other’s imperfection is an outer happening. Feeling is an inner happening.

Don’t let outer happenings enslave your inner happenings.

Will you be able to change others?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Will you be able to feel good no matter if your expectations are met or not?

Yes. Certainly. But only if you practice it.

And practice it well.

You look for perfect relationships because you think it will make you happy.

You have the power to let imperfect relationships make you happy if you realize and practice that.

Think for yourself.

How to Deal With Incoming Pain

How to Deal With Incoming Pain

Do you feel that all the doors of life are closed?

Not finding a way to move forward?

You feel like you are in the middle of an ocean of pain?

Celebrate that moment. It’s a good thing.

We all know, think and talk about leadership but often find it difficult to lead our actions.

Often we don’t act unless circumstances force us to.

Pain forces us to ACT!

Every pain comes with a purpose.

Reflect on the old saying,

“No pressure, no diamond!”

When pain comes to take you over, stay patient; stay calm; stay positive. Things will work out  … may not be quickly but eventually.

There are two ways to deal with painful situations:

1. Feel the pain
2. Act despite of pain

When you choose to just feel the pain you keep wondering, despite all this pain, why it’s not working out? You stop living and start thinking.

When you act despite of pain, you invent possibilities to make something better out of the pain. You continue living … flowing like a river and keep moving on.

Oprah said,

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”

Profound thought. Something that makes you wiser should be enjoyed, not suffered, isn’t it?

Do not be afraid of your own reality and your feelings.

You are going to carry it anyways.

How you carry your pain, matters.

It’s a feeling.

Your feelings are part of you. Your own reality.

If you feel bad about it and try to hide it or suffer from it, you’re doing a real hard work to live a miserable life.

Instead, be tougher than incoming pain so pain thinks to go back and reinvent itself and in the process, you too, reinvent yourself.

..and you learn the art of turning your wounds into wisdom.

How to Deal With Information Overload

How to Deal With Information Overload

So many things are happening at this moment.

Someone is dying. Someone is taking birth. Someone is coming home after decades of travel. Someone is getting huge payhike by changing his job. Someone is investing time to create a business that his generations will be proud of.

People are doing this. People are doing that.

People used to do this. People used to do that.

Then came Facebook. And Twitter. And Google+ … all different kind of social media.

Result?

Information Overload.

Number of messages we get to hear in a typical day have been multiplied by hundreds if not thousands.

But, what does it mean to you?

It just means that you get lot of garbage your way.

Bigger Problem? You don’t know what information is the garbage.

We say “yes” to what seems exciting or what seems new and indirectly say “no” to the path we are traveling.

How to find out if something is garbage or not?

Get clear on what “drives” you. Get clear on your  goals that you must achieve. And get clear about how you are going to use incoming information to achieve your goals.

Now, there are three types of information:

  1. Information that advances towards achieving your goals
  2. Information that enables you to visualize, articulate, refine and challenge your goals
  3. All other information

Number three is garbage. Get rid of it.

Absorb what’s useful; reject the rest. ~ J.D. Meier

Some people crib about information overload while few, only a few, take what’s useful and reject the rest.

Make a wise choice.