Wish you had a “perfect” relationship with your spouse?
With your Mother-in-law?
With your teenage child?
With your reporting manager?
“I wish I had. If my spouse would do (enter your expectation here) then it would be just perfect!”
If you’re thinking that, stop.
You’ll end up wasting your entire life if you expect others to be perfect.
If you continue doing that, you’ll go mad and feel more and more insecure with every failed expectation that doesn’t live up to your fantasy of perfection.
We seek others to act in a way that feels perfect for us, but if you reflect on it, you realize that there are no perfect relationships. It is just a flavor of imperfect relationship that feels perfect at that moment.
You’re not dead.
You are a living being and here’s a fun fact: Only dead things are perfect. Living beings are always imperfect.
Rather than expecting someone else to act in a particular way, what if we grow completely into ourselves and realize our own imperfections.
We accept ourselves the way we are and the way we are not.
We recognize that we are also a form of imperfection. From other’s point of view.
We acknowledge that and see how we can inspect and adapt to create a situation that we enjoy; despite our imperfections.
We accept others the way they are and the way they are not.
We agree to disagree.
We don’t let other’s imperfections affect our feelings.
Other’s imperfection is an outer happening. Feeling is an inner happening.
Don’t let outer happenings enslave your inner happenings.
Will you be able to change others?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Will you be able to feel good no matter if your expectations are met or not?
Yes. Certainly. But only if you practice it.
And practice it well.
You look for perfect relationships because you think it will make you happy.
You have the power to let imperfect relationships make you happy if you realize and practice that.
Think for yourself.